In my childhood, living with grand parents, I heard lots of stories about God, especially about Lord Krishna. That is the only base and treasure I have till now – the believe that God is always with me, God is present in everything in stone, in all living beings, in movements and in rest. The pictures which my grandmother draw in my heart came alive in dreams. As I grew up, when I was studying and then got job, facing good time and difficult time, these memories were there. Especially during difficult times, I found the peace within only due to the presence of God. I didn’t search for a spiritual teacher yet, but when I saw some, God spoke to me through them. God doesn’t want me to get stuck with anyone, so I was kept moving through different experiences. Sometimes I really felt really hard, but now I could say sandalwood on contact with stone and grounded to paste, it produce sweet smell and we get sandalwood paste which is so cool. Similarly, through all experiences, lord is grinding me. Lord allow even a trace of ego because ego activates the mind and different thoughts cover up the lord in heart. Even though present there always, I forget few seconds or minutes, but within no time, lord bring the focus back to heart through anything.
Few weeks back, my mentor and friend told me I can’t see god, but God is always with me. In the Lingeswar temple and Jaganath temple through the marvelous stone arts, I saw the god. In the devotion filled recitation of people I saw god. In the tears of a praying lady in the crowd in dark, I saw god. In the compassion of priest who fed me tasty temple food, I saw god. In the hearty talk of old priest in Govardhan peedom and presenting me with Krishna’s mayilpeeli and Vimala Devi’s kumkum, I saw lord. I’m praying God in my heart and everything to keep my focus always in god and feel the presence of God in everything every moment.