Most of us like advices and suggestions. We always hear it from elders, teachers, friends, colleagues, read it from books, social medias, etc. Well, advices are good, but we should never forget our thinking ability to think whether it is good for us really, like-is it good for in this situation? Do I have other options to check? Shall I take a risk bravely?
I write this because I have heard a lot of them from my childhood and I used to follow them thinking others were right and I don’t know much about the many things. Actually among these followed advices, majority of them put me under pressure. Analysing those situations lately, I found those are advices given to me by people seeing me or hearing from me about a certain situation/matter. I may be just sharing them about that particular matter at that moment in the middle of a talk or I may be asking a suggestion. The person who gives me advice, advice me out of their own experiences, the books they read, or from seeing the experiences of other people and then advice me. Forgetting about my thinking capacity to determine what to take and what to reject and gulp those advice, I was actually jumping myself to pressures.
Now, what I do is I observe people silently. I think about a particular situation or matter from all sides and if I don’t understand certain sides of matter, I ask suggestion from one or maximum three people whom I feel knows me really well and also have lots of life experiences. Then I think about those suggestions and the advices one by one and reach a final point by myself and do it. As I started living this way, I found life more easy and happy to live. I also learnt to say “no” to many people with smile. When I started moving away from people pleasing nature, I feel each moment more comfortable and I could manage time and energy more effectively for the useful and necessary things 😊