I was advised by one of my friendly blogger in my yesterday’s post that being individualistic doesn’t help me. Even though I appreciate his choice to comment, I strongly stand in my view to be individualistic and solo as this is my choice. I am writing about the positive sides of “being individualistic” from own experiences and also what I observed until my life today.
From my very small age, I have heard my grandmothers, parents, relatives all saying I have my own stand in everything. Certain things they accepted and certain things they disagreed and tried changing me as they found my choices weren’t right. Being a child, most times I hear them as they advised me lovingly and also I don’t have the knowledge or strength to question them back.
As I aged, I found I am not following the crowd and likes to spend time in silence and solo even though I had friends and loved them. Still I have friends and with very few people I spent hours talking while with some others I stay silent as there weren’t any common interest between us to talk and just have hi, how are you like conversation only. I also am quite quick in decision making and value honesty, punctuality, privacy and doesn’t like gossiping.
Being solo and silent helped me to observe more, love nature, had the courage to travel alone, try different foods and culture, spent time in few arts, learn out of my studied subject etc. I don’t question others’ freedom and also frankly don’t like anyone questioning my freedom even if it is an elder. I won’t react to them most times by staying silent and do what I like and only if it is really to be reacted, I react in decent and strong words and some take it positively while some take it negatively. Well, that’s their choice.
Being solo and observing helped me find hypocrites among friend circle who supports a cause in public while when it comes to own life and dear ones, they react in completely different way, especially when it comes to matter regarding the opposite gender. My friend circle includes people from different countries and people of different age and people from different walks of life. Some are as small as 3 years while some are as old as 90. They consider me as their age and shows interest to share their matters and even secrets with me than to their parents and their wives/husbands and children because they know I don’t judge them and I listen them and when needed give support and motivation. They trust me and I won’t break it.
Only very very rarely I felt loneliness in life and that will be like just few minutes and then I get engaged with some chore and involve in it fully.
Being solo helped me to study a little of spiritual books, practice few things, and understand and experience certain things without any distraction which is very important in the starting phases of a seeker of truth. Right now, I am not interest in monkhood and like to work and earn a living and spent it consciously and get dressed in coloured clothes. I am not bothered about liberation or having another birth right now for I am involved in few material things as I find change and support from spiritual knowledge is much necessary in today’s time. I have some likes and dislikes and still have body consciousness.
Another thing I experienced as a recluse is we don’t always need spoken language to communicate. My language knowledge limits to Malayalam, English, Tamil, some Sanskrit and little Hindi. I can understand Hindi, but communicating in Hindi is difficult than Sanskrit. But during my travels, I encountered Urdu people, Tulu people, Kannada people, Telgu people, Odiya people, Bengali people etc. who doesn’t know English, the common language. Some talk to me in their language and with their facial expression and body language I make guess and answer them in smile or with some water or money or food. They were very natural people and so most times my guess of understanding their communication will be correct. This also happens with animals, butterflies, plants, ants too. They communicate in their own way when they need food, feel hurt, need protection etc. and I do whatever I can at that moment.
If I were following the crowd and having friends and busy with them, I would have missed all this and my life and experiences will be different. If you doesn’t experience certain thing doesn’t mean such an experience could not happen to another person. Some name in ESP, some call psychic, some call intuition which works when mind is silent and clear of all thoughts and can be experienced by anyone.
Being solo or being in company is your choice and it naturally occurs with you as it depends more on your psychological makeup and each one is unique in it. No one is superior or inferior. You can’t tell fire to show the property of water and water to show the property of fire. Both have their own value and importance and cannot replace the other as they are unique 🙂